at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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