I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
