Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
