maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
