Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize