fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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