eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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