i already hear my dad disowning me
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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