I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
