But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize