bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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