I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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