Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
