return my video game
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
