Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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