how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
