help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
