i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
