It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
