If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
