There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
