I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I am one with the molecules
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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