question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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