New invention idea: vibrating tampons
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
