You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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