We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
