you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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