the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
