my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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