I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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