ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
