I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize