This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
