I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
