I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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