A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
