just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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