u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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