do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize