According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
