I looked at my own cervix.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
