too bad you live with your parents still
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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