Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
