Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
