This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
