So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
