Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
