It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
