We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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