i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
