handjob tips. give me some.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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