Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
