Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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