I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
