hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
