i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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