if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
