Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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