physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
worst night to have a conscience
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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