Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
