Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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