Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
