I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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