these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
