I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
