There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
