I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize