I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
