Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
